How to take back control and responsibility of your life

How are you viewing your life at the moment?

Are you fired up and ready to go at it like a labrador at a doughnut shop or is everything a bit…..beige with hints of grey?

When we let life happen to us we can feel stagnant and resentful to everyone else living their dreams around us (and let’s face it, that’s all you’re going to see on social media - not their bad days). 

It feels hard when you step back and let others decide and take control. 

You’ve given away the amazing power that you have 

It’s ok to be ‘you’. It may feel even harder but it’s worth it. 

Don’t waste the next few weeks, months or years being a passenger in someone else’s car. 

It’s time take back control and take responsibility for your life. 

This is non negotiable. 

Here's what you can do about it:

Start small

If you want to lose weight, gain a million followers on instagram, climb mount kilimanjaro and write a best selling book on Harry Styles - do you think you’ll be able to do this all at once?

Decide what matters most to you and your health now and take the first step to achieving that.

Hell you could lose weight by training to climb mount kilimanjaro and document it on insta to build your following but Harry’s just going to have to wait.  

Know what a high internal locus of control is and develop one. 

You know those people where everything seems to happen to them from external sources and everyone else is to blame 1) don’t be that person and 2) they have a high external locus of control. 

You have control over your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions and your behaviour. It starts with your thoughts (more on that next week).

But you control a lot so control what you can and let the things you can’t control - the weather, politicians - let it go. 

Show up and be accountable for yourself.

You have to ask yourself ‘how am I contributing to my situation at the moment’. If you’re not happy with where your life is, what part are you playing in the problem?

If hurt is showing up for you, really analyse where this is coming from and try and look to heal it. 

When you decide on the steps that you want to take be accountable. 

If you can’t stick to how you want to be showing up, speak through your new goals or direction with someone who can help you stick to them.

Maybe that friend who you know will be super on at you and annoying (I bet someone sprang to mind). 

Consider how other people impact you

If you’re currently feeling like a victim and other people’s comments and judgements are getting you down, it’s more like to be about them rather than you. 

Why not try this instead?

If someone makes a cruel remark imagine a shield comes down around you suspending the remark and ask yourself these 3 questions: 

How much of this is about me?

How much of this is about them?

What can I do to take power back in this situation. 

Then let the comment fall to the floor. 

Know that you’re responsible for your own happiness and it’s an inside job. 

Don’t hang your happiness on something that you need to achieve with external forces.

‘I’ll be happy when I’ve got this sorted/achieved a payrise/have a big house……STOOOOPPPP!

You can choose to be happy and make the changes now. Being more mindful by focusing on gratitude, meditating and journaling is so underestimated by key to a happy life. 

This is within your control.

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Philippa Wickham helps small business owners fuel their business success using strategy and the power of the mind. Why not join my year long experiment on improving my brain power instagram at @philippawickham

If you've enjoyed this blog, why not check out my one on the cognitive triangle here.