When I was about 11, we’d played a netball match at school and afterwards we all trapsed into this old room that was used when the team tea was sandwiches rather than a cooked meal.

I loved netball but the teacher that took us for it, I sometimes got the sense that she didn’t particularly like me very much*.

We’d all filed in, the opposition and my team and the sandwiches were on the table right in front of us.

I went forward to pick one up and I’ll never forget Miss Kirk shouting at me ‘who do you think you are? No-one said you could start like a piggy in a farmyard’.

I’d never done this before – go first – and I certainly would never do it again.

I wanted the world to swallow me up whole. I was completely mortified.

That day however I learnt something that would stick with me for a very long time:

You have to ask permission to get what you want.

This theme continued throughout school. Don’t step out of line. Play the good girl card.

Over compensate with niceness.

Such was my shame on that day that I still vividly remember that moment with heat rising to my face.

It was only much later in my adult life that I realised how often we’re told this in subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) ways.

If you’re good, you get rewarded.

Go against the grain and step out of line, those around you won’t be happy and you’ll loose.

It hit me when I got to my mid thirties and realised that this attitude and approach had followed me around my entire life.

When I wanted to start making changes, to shake things up a bit, I little voice said ‘no, no, no, that would be too risky’.

You start to feel the call of change, a noise that won’t go away and the thing that I struggled with is that it went on for years.

It was only when I got out of this cycle that I was able to recognise what it was and how you can change this.

My mind was trying to protect me.

It was using old memories to prevent me from myself.

The thing I couldn’t understand was how could other people who were no different than me go after what they wanted, make immense change in their lives and start to do the stuff that only dreams are made of.

What was I personally waiting for?

If it was permission from someone else, that was never going to come.

So if you’re reading this and thinking, what AM I waiting for, this blog is entirely for you.

You do not need someone else to tell you that you can.

You do not need to listen to voices or be branded by old memories that cause embarrassment and inaction.

Only you can decide.

If you’re completely and utterly happy with where you are at, your life, your health, wealth and relationships. Brilliant – I’m so so pleased for you.

If, on the other hand, you're not - you have everything inside you right now whether you believe this or not to throw away those images of your past and step into the unknown.

The first step and you can do this today is to decide.

Stay where you are or finally, stop looking externally for your internal happiness and leap.

And if that decision is a full body YES, then let's begin. 

*Miss Kirk – If you ever read this, I’d love to know if I’m making this up?!

I'd love to know your thoughts on this - why not drop me a line on info@outsideperspective.co.uk

If you found this interesting, why not check out this blog on how to change your life using your habits.